One of the best insights I got about child-rearing came from reading BBC's Child of Our Time.

The book was based on BBC's famous mini-series that followed a group of parents from the time the moms were pregnant until the babies were a few years old.

What made the book so eye-opening for me was that it talked about life in the womb from the baby's perspective. What does baby hear? What does baby feel? What does baby see?

Why was this so signficant? Because it shaped the way I thought about my son when he was in my womb ... and it continues to shape the way I see my son now. It was the first book I read that encouraged me to think of the world from my son's point of view rather than through mine.

It was that insight that helped me to realize, when I had just given birth and was in the hospital, that the best way to calm my inconsolable (or so I thought) crying newborn was to have him lie down beside me for a few minutes. "He's just spent the last 9 months in my womb," I told my mom and husband. "He'll probably feel better if he's close to me." And it worked!

It's an insight that isn't always easy to remember. Many times I find myself forgetting to try to see the world from my son's point of view instead of my adult point of view. But when I do remember, it's astounding and gratifying.

Like when I get down on my tummy and go face to face with him when he's doing his tummy time, and I get to see what the bedroom looks like from his perspective.

Or when I try to imagine what his toys must look like from his vantage point: and realize that Mortimer the Moose's colorful foot is, at this point, much more interesting to my son than Mortimer's face.

Or when I realize that my son has no sense of time at this age, and that I can't ask him to "wait a few minutes" if he's calling for me while I'm busy. At this age, all he is is a bundle of powerful emotions, and the best thing I can do is to try to attend to his needs as quickly as I can.

It's an insight that reminds me to pay attention more, to listen more, to be more aware of my child.

Come to think of it, the wisdom of that insight--the wisdom of putting ourselves in our children's shoes and trying to see the world from their perspective--is something that all parents can learn from, no matter how old our children are.

Share Share

2 comments

  1. Anonymous // March 12, 2009 10:03 AM  

    this also works when the author deals with her husband :)

  2. Baby Carriers Slings // March 19, 2009 7:54 AM  

    It is very interesting and helpful to see the world through a child's eyes, and I hope that everyone tries it from time to time.

    It is also very interesting and helpful for the baby to see the world from your perspective - I'm speaking of babywearing. Studies have shown that wearing your baby actually helps their emotional and physical development because they spend time safely snuggled next to you AND because they spend time in a state of quiet awareness of all that is going on around them. The extra bonus is that the parent is able to get stuff done! Win Win!